Mockery Central: Satire, Fair and Balanced|
[Most Recent Entries]
Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Satirical Society's LiveJournal:
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|Friday, September 30th, 2005|
I posted in the past about my dad's website... well, he also has a blog now, something I Never thought would happen. Considering that the post prior to this one is the past post I speak of, my guess is that not many people check this communities postings.... but I guess I'll take m y chances. http://abrahamking.blogspot.com/http://www.seedtimepress.com
|Saturday, August 27th, 2005|
Shameless promo of my dad's book....
Satire inspired by coporate america, religion, politics, and the ties that bind them. If it peaks your interest, please help out a struggling writer... I know he'd appreciate it. And so would I :). Even if it doesn't interest you, please check out the website, or refer someone to it who may be interested. Thanks!http://www.seedtimepress.com/default.html
|Saturday, July 9th, 2005|
MORE CONVICTS EXECUTED IN PAMPLONA
by our correspondent in Spain, Johnny McZap
In what is being touted as a great day for world justice, the annual Running Of The Bulls in Pamplona has resulted in more degenerate criminals being gored to a painful death by a herd of stampeding bulls.
Every year, overcrowded prisons free up space by selecting a certain percentage of their most dangerous criminals and sending them to Pamplona where, in a triumph of rational thinking, a herd of enraged bulls weighing several tons each are set running down residential streets. Sane, law abiding citizens enjoy watching Mother Nature dispense justice by watching the criminals (who are given a free pardon should they actually outrun the herd) be trampled to death from the safety of their homes and offices.
Traditionally only convicted criminals are allowed to run the course as it would be a sheer abomination for a good, decent person to run the course and risk life and limb, possibly bereaving their loved ones for the sake of a cheap thrill. However, the certifiably insane are sometimes allowed to run the course in order to put themselves and everyone else out of their misery, especially since psychiatric wards are as overcrowded with prisons with dangerous sociopaths such as fundamentalist vegitarians and left-handed people. However, it is not unknown for tourists to try their luck without authorization and photographs of their blood-soaked corpses are displayed proudly on mantlepieces all over the world.
The event organizer, Robin Whipsnap, hailed the event as a huge success. "Citizens can enjoy the celebratory carnival in the knowledge the many cruel and evil people have met their end today. Now the cleanup operation can begin, where other convicts can be drafted to scoop pieces of their friends from the streets".
After the run, the bulls are of course slaughtered and fed to the dogs. Current Mood: crappy
|Monday, April 11th, 2005|
sowwy, im out of weehab now ohgosh
im screwed, my mommy wouldnt pay fo teh weehab, she sayed i shooduv spent the monies on a .45 to shoot myswelf instead :(
no mor stwayer fo me nowz :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:( i weally weally weally wantd 2 go ther, i was gawna wiv in teh dumpster in teh bak jus wik teh gwouch
ohman wut im gonna do???? <<<<< tahtz wut i thought wehn i gotz out of teh weehab
i decid, to go 4 a dwive, thru the white hous fenc so teh guardses woold fuckin shoot me ohgsoh i h8 mmyself but teh wallz stop my mommys car which i stoled and my dog floo thru teh windsheeld instayed :(:(:( and tehn i wan fwom teh coppers cuz they r mean to gwavvies
my pawents kikked me out, im at teh wibrary to tell evewy1 im gonna ewectrocute mysewlf to dead
buy buy :(
edit: god dwam it im stwill fukn awive wtf
i wish iwuz teh popez :(
>:I >:I Current Mood: bitchy
|Monday, December 15th, 2003|
|Friday, November 21st, 2003|
|Sunday, October 5th, 2003|
As seen on the wipe board of the girls across the hall:
"We are so wasted right now!"
Their names had been changed to "Wasted and Wasteder"
I'd mock, but there's no challenge.
|Monday, September 29th, 2003|
Stolen from amandathegreat( Read more...Collapse )
Just so we're clear, hearing voices in one's head is one sign of schizophrenia. Delusions is another. As are neologisms, or made-up new words, when mixed up with other chaotic speech patterns. And you only need two symptoms, for one month, persisting for six months, to qualify for a diagnosis.
Of course, diagnoses of mental illnesses are serious things, and should not be taken lightly.
Therefore, maybe GW should be hospitalized ASAP. Current Mood: *sigh*
|Monday, September 22nd, 2003|
The RIAA is decadent.
So how does the RIAA think taking $2000 from a twelve-year-old will make other people stop sharing music on the internet? I'm awfully confused. I mean, I think such tactics will make people, not less, but MORE likely to share music online! "Look at us! We're so big and powerful we can take money from a sixth-grader! BWA HA HA!"
You know, if they want CD sales to skyrocket, they could try bringing the prices down, eh? *shakes head*
Idiots. Current Mood: tired
|Friday, September 12th, 2003|
Freedom of Speech
A right that all of us, including this fellow
should fight to preserve.
If this had been not an American flag, but instead, say, a rainbow gay pride flag, would there be this much support for this man? Don't get me wrong, freedom of speech is a great and wonderful thing, and the fact that he's fighting a silly homeowner's association to protect his rights is awesome. I'm just wondering.
I'm kinda surprised that it was even an issue - after 9/11, American flags were more common than dandelions for a while. And it was considered a great and noble and wonderful thing to be an American, and to show your pride in your country with such a noble symbol. Heck, it still is. So why does this homeowner's association have their knickers in a twist? Are they aware that this is a losing fight? They're trying to take away the First Amendment AND they're attacking the right to display a very popular symbol. What's their problem? I hope it's something more thought out than is presented in this article, 'cause that is very much a losing battle. Current Mood: confused
|Monday, September 1st, 2003|
SoS hasn't been updated for a while, and this is why:
Microsoft: Hm, we haven't done anything *really* dumb for a while now.
Hackers: Pst! Make something that's really easy to virus up!
Microsoft: I know! We can make an operating system with a cool access thingummy that will allow another computer to look right at the desktop! Sheer genius!
Hackers: With a keystroke there and a gentle nudge there... voila! Let's call it the blaster worm!
Microsoft: Well HAH! We have a PATCH that'll STOP your nasty old worm. Take THAT you meanie heads!
Hackers: Dude, we still win.
Microsoft: Shut up.
Cornell college: EVERYONE needs to download this patch!
Incoming freshlings: I've never gotten a virus on my computer in my life! They don't mean me!
Cornell: No, seriously! Go download it before you come to the school and attach yourselves to the internet and INFECT US ALL.
Freshlings: They don't mean me!
Cornell network: OMGALLTHEVIRUSESINTHEWORLDALLATONCECANTC
Freshlings: Oops. That wasn't me, was it?
Upperclassfolk: Aw bloody hell. You stupid blighters.
Freshlings: Um... yeah! All those dumbfucks that didn't download the patch! Bastards!
Upperclassfolk: Seeings as *we* know about our computers and *we* have enough sense to READ the emails and FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS-
Freshlings: Uh oh.
Upperclassfolk: -we're going to kill you and use you for spare parts. Run. That'll make it more interesting.
Cornell: Okay, we're gonna let you have the internet back again. BEFORE YOU GO ONLINE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, RUN THIS VIRUS-KILLING PROGRAM SO WE DON'T GET DUMPED BACK TO SQUARE ONE!!
Stupid students: They don't mean me!
Cornell network: *coughcough* notfeelinggood... NOTFEELINGGOOD!
Cornell: AAAAUGH! WE TOLD YOU TO RUN THE VIRUS KILLING PROGRAM!!
Stupid students: I... I did! Didn't I?
Cornell: Fine. No one else gets any more access. Since you couldn't play nice with the internet, you have to be cleared by computing services before you get the internet. Unless you're already hooked up.
Students with access already: Ha HAH! Losers! We win!
Internetless students: We would kill you if we didn't need to borrow your computer. Wait, we could kill you... and take your computer and internet for ourselves....
Cornell: Oh yeah, and no killing fellow students for their internet.
Internetless students: Dammit!
Hackers: *gets out the popcorn* This is better than TV! We RULE!
|Friday, August 22nd, 2003|
Okay, all, what do you think of these colors?
I'll take suggestions like I take my coffee - eagerly, but with sugar and cream. Current Mood: accomplished
Now that we have official colors, I will start coding an official website. While I do not have a place to host it as of yet, I can still construct the files by hand using good old notepad. Once we have our own little place on the web, I can upload them all off of my computer.
To all current and prospective members: I will be writing a section that lists members of our society by first name (or last name, if that's your preference) and alias if you so choose. I might also include a short blurb for each person if I'm feeling whimsical and people want to help me with that. I may change this at some point in the future, and will notify you of any changes beforehand. If you would like to be listed as a member, please tell me and I will include you. I also request an image that you would like to represent you. It can be a picture of you, a picture of something that means a lot to you, or something completely random that has nothing to do with you. Do whatever you like. I have but two restrictions. Image dimensions should be 100x150 pixels, and I request that you not use animated GIFs.
If anyone has any suggestions about what sort of content should be included on our site, please feel free to tell me.
You can email me at KillMeShining@hotmail.com or you can use AIM SN: Kirideth, or MSN messenger at the same name as my email address.
~Kirideth Current Mood: productive
We have Official Colors now - cyan, yellow, and black. Someday someone is going to help me fix the colors on the page. And by someone I mean Dreamweaver.
We also have an Offical Icon, thanks to Mika. Whee! It's **animated**! Spiffy, eh?
As long as I'm here, I might as well post something. And while it's very much not political
, it is still parody, therefore satire, therefore relevant, and still amusing as all hell.
|Sunday, August 17th, 2003|
Fair and Balanced
I can't believe none of us have thought to post about this story
Some background: you've undoubtedly heard conservative-leaning types complaining about the "liberal media." The Fox News Network was founded as a supposedly unbiased counterpart to "liberal" news stations like CNN. They like to make a big deal out of this, with slogans like "Fair & Balanced" and "We Report, You Decide." (Widely parodied on the left as "We Distort, You Deride.")
Now then. Popular liberal humorist Al Franken, author of such works as Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat Idiot
, has written a book satirizing conservative media, titled Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right
Fox News is now attempting to sue Franken for trademark infringement, claiming that they have trademarked the phrase "fair & balanced" and that Franken is clearly trying to confuse people into thinking his book is produced by Fox News. This despite the fact that (a) according to a lot of lawyer-type-people, this can't possibly be a legitimate trademark because "fair and balanced" has been a common catchphrase in journalism since long before Fox News was a glimmer in Rupert Murdoch's eye and Fox hasn't picked on anyone for using the phrase before now, and (b) more importantly, parody and satire are explicitly protected as "fair use" under United States copyright law.
Absurd enough by itself. What's really great, though, is that there's now a growing movement
of people who are standing up for the right to satire by adding the phrase "fair and balanced" to their webpages to show just how ridiculous this is. I've done my small part by adding "fair and balanced" to my livejournal interests list, as have 29 other people
, and I encourage you all to join us. Maybe we should change this community's title to "Mockery Central: Fair and Balanced"? Current Mood: amused
|Saturday, August 16th, 2003|
The assholes unite.
I never want us to descend to this level of puerile inanity. I want us to stay at at a more classy level. I want us to keep our purpose firmly in mind - we are here to change the world through satire, a noble and laudable goal. We are NOT here to make ourselves look big by pulling others down. And when we stumble, we will mock ourselves harder than we mock anyone else.
To see what idiots in large numbers can accomplish, read this livejournal entry
written by one of my little sister's friends. The Amanda referred to therein is her. Remember that when you read the comment from "The Carrot," the most... words cannot express my rage. When I have calmed down some, I may comment on his comment and point him over here. I may not, though. I have never experienced raw rage like this, and it's a bit frightening. At any rate, should cruel.com get a hold of us and attempt to show us the path of their enlightenment, I trust that we will be able to stand our ground and give five times better than what we get.
If anyone from cruel.com is reading this now, I hearby dare you to comment and insult me with your infantile minions. Is this asking for trouble? You bet. But if there was no trouble, the world would stagnate and rot from within. I welcome the opportunity to shake it up. At worst, I learn my own limitations. At best, you learn yours. Current Mood: enraged
|Thursday, August 14th, 2003|
According to the Edge
, a newspaper column in my hometown rag, US soldiers have taken to calling Saddam Hussein "Elvis." He's just that mythological.
According to a recent Weekly World News headline, "Saddam's weapons of mass destruction - KILLER DINOSAURS! Saddam built evil Jurassic park - and Bush knew it!"
I don't know what's more ridiculous about that statement - that the WWN team thinks that the US population could swallow the fact that Saddam actually pulled a Jurassic Park and cloned dinosaurs, or that they think we could swallow the fact that Bush knew something that he wasn't hand-fed by his advisors. Seriously, I question whether or not the man can keep his daughters straight.o Current Mood: amused
how I love thee, Onion.
What Do You Think: The First Gay Bishop
"Since when is it a crime to be gay? Oh, yeah. Up until a few weeks ago. Well, it's not anymore. Get with it."
"Now that the church has been compassionate and reasonable about this, people are going to expect that all the time." Current Mood: amused
|Tuesday, August 12th, 2003|
If you're ever in Danang, Vietnam and you think about having an amorous encounter, think twice
.( Also, this caught my eye.Collapse )
I hearby dare any D.A. anywhere to prosecute me for "disloyal statements."
Amendment I: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech
, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.
G'wan. Try it. See how far it gets ya. Current Mood: amused
|Thursday, August 7th, 2003|
Um, I think Mika's idea and pic are great. >^.^< Seeing as I suck with colors and images and suchlike things, I don't have a nomination. Other than seconding Mika's. w00tz0r. Current Mood: dead